Current
by GutterGlitter
Summary: One shot. Rei looks back on the regrets of 'that night and loses Kai, making a fatal decision. I suck at summaries. Song fic Song used 'Current' Schwarz Stein :


Hiya, my first story on my new account!

I hope you enjoy this. The songs its set to (lyrics are bold and italics) is Schwarz Stein 'Current'.

Its a beautiful song, and I recommend you all listen to it! ;D

(Psst! You can download it here! :P)

Italics are spoken words, but you'll have to guess who their from, cause I'm annoying like that, haha.

I preferred not to call them by Rei and Kai. 'You' is Kai and the speaker is, obviously, Rei :)

Anyway, I'm gonna upload another story the relates to this soon. Feedback and any help on improvement would be appreciated.

Well, on with the story!

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**_Faintly flickering the images below me blur ,  
As the waves swallow their outliines,  
and they sink far below..._**

I can't believe I let them go. The most beautiful memories, captured forever and laminated on paper, frozen in time. I smiled at them sadly, suddenly tasting a damp salt on my dried lips. As I layed them down among the rough grey sand, I watched our faces curl as the first wave of the ocean extended a hand to pull them into the expanse of its body. On my knees, I weep and smile weakly, as I watch the last remains of us be lost forever in the endless blue. Forgotten.

I hold myself through the harsh, cold whip of the sea wind, as it lashes at my face like cruel talons and works grit into my white skin. I wish you were here, to pull me close, so I could rest my head on your chest and feel your heart beat, the most beautiful, relaxing tune. The small pain is refreshing and snaps me back to reality suddenly - it is, in a way, pleasurable and welcomed, as I try to entinguish the lingering memories of you from my mind. Again, a thought, you lying beside me in my bed, staring into my eyes with those dazzling orbs, and I reach out and stroke the silken strands of blue from your face, content. Perfect.

Even the moody sky reminds of you, of your deep indigo hair, and the weeping ocean as it danced brought back terrible memories of that night, tear filled eyes defiant in the stormy rain. I gulped deeply, to hold back another onslaught of misery.

**_While behind my closed eyes,  
remaining long past memories  
One by one, one by one,  
spin together and jumble up._**

Promises and kisses. Tears and smiles. Seranades and screams. They whirl in the train wreck of my mind and I feel my body shake as your silken, sweet voice whispers delicately those sweet words that I always believed over the sighing sea winds.

_'Forever. I promise...'_

Now, I realise just how ridiculous the promise of forever is. A faint flame of anger threatens to explode but the icy wind of regret extinguishes its effort and turns it to worthless ash. As I hug myself tightly, I still imagine you in my arms, my face buried in the crook of your neck and the sweet perfume of your skin would make me breath a sigh of relief, to be so lucky such a blessing was actually real, and I would realise just how much I loved you.

Loved?

I still do. And what I did...that foolish mistake... That I will never forgive myself for. And whenever I try to recall your beautiful face, I remember you, in the merciless downpour, tears shining, fists clenched at your side, as you screamed at me those words which ripped me in two. How could I hurt you so?

_'I never want to see you again!'_

_'I love you...'_

**_Now I finally understand  
I cannot live with you as I am  
With this ugly, glittering skin that I have..._**

We all take the greatest things for granted. I never realised just how much I, my life, my sanity, my happiness, depended on you. I could awake in the morning, refreshed and smiling, full of energy and love of life, when you slept beside me, and kiss your soft lips awake and feel as if I was the happiest man in the world. Now, I awake at something past P.M, and move without purpose, lovelessand lost. I make no effort in appearance, as I see no-one to impress. The grey face tha stares at me in the mirror is but a shell of what I once was.

I'm hollow. Empty. And I have no one to wait for. No one to depend on. No one to hold me and tell me its all right. No one to tell me they love me.

The seas hand extends again and caresses my feet, and I wonder how wonderful it would be to wash away with those waves, and float in the endless blue, lost, forgotten, forever. I wonder what he would do when they discover I was missing. Would he weep? Cry? Would he help in the search for my body? And what when they find me, lifeless, dead? Would he mourn for me?

**_So I'll let them go, fade into the foam  
in the morning sun  
And in cruelty, so delicately  
we'll sink and be drowned  
Now part of the sea, my weakened memories bubble on the sand  
I will break the peace, release you from me  
And withdraw my outstretched hands _**

My fingers are chilled as the ocean whispers among them soothingly. I suddenly notice how thin and skeletal they have become. I haven't ate for days, and have felt no urge or hunger to. I hadn't noticed just how much I had l detoriated since _then._ I think that was the point when my life stopped. When I died. I feel nothing anymore, except this horrible, cold, emptiness. I think this is what they call heartbreak. And yes, to answer that question, it is as terrible as it sounds. And with each wave, I feel another part of you leave me, the traces of your hands and fingertips, your body and your lips, leaving me.

I sob uncontrollably. It seems all I can do lately. But it seems to help a bit. Relieve some of my _heartache_. If I only I could wash all of you away. If only I could forget you, then maybe this misery would leave. But I don't want to.

_'Because I love you.'_

And the sea murmurs those promises.

I crawl upon the roughened sand, feeling it scrape my bare knees, and lay upon my back, watery eyes gazing at the setting sun. Another thing I remember, us watching it together, the first time you uttered those three precious words to me. I never realised just how lovely it truly was, how the world turned a soothing orange, and darkness creeped in as the sun laid for a nights rest. The water tickled my bare feet. I gulped deeply and managed a smile as more tears streamed down my face.

**_I remember us together,  
making sandcastles with dirtied hands,  
If I close my eyes it was true happiness ._**

We used to love this beach, didn't we? We used to come here together on endless summer nights, play joyfully in the waters, roll in the sand carelessly, kiss passionately in the waves. I remember it all, with a smile upon my face. But since when did that sun kissed paradise become so sad? I can't remember when the sand looked so grey. Or when the ocean looked so faded. It seemed like the joy in it had drained like the love from my heart.

The tide was coming in closer and the shadows were fading and retreating. The day was growing colder and the water now reached the top of legs and it teased my stomach. How long had I lain here?

_'I love you.'_

And distantly, I think I can hear your laugh, and see our footprints in the sand.

**_Now there's no place left,  
for me to be anymore.  
This song I started just for you, _**

**_It will decay..._**

I just wonder who will miss me when I'm gone. Friends, family, maybe. but I don't really care. I only hope you will. I hope you will see how much this hurt me. How much you meant to me. But now I'm being selfish. It was all my fault. My pain is probably nothing compared to yours. And you will move on. Find another. Fall in love again. And maybe then, you will have 'forever'. Maybe you won't find such a foolish partner, that would toss away something so precious for a night of fun.

But will you compare them to me? Will you think, 'this was just like him.'

'This is what he used to do. He isn't as good as him. I can't love him as much as him.'

_'I miss him.'_

**_The caressing wind blew through my damp hair  
in a dream I saw  
Devoted fingers, a lie in the night,  
only dreams they were  
All our promises, all of our kisses,  
even this voice too  
Everything we'd do,  
Like I were sea foam,  
wish I could forget about you._**

I don't want to be forgotten so easily. And now the waves are washing over my face, and I splutter softly but put up no fight. I feel a tug, and suddenly, my body is gliding down the slick sand.

And now, I'm floating in that endless blue, endless, eternal, smiling, as I watch bubbles containing my fina; breaths float before me. It feels as if I'm flying and I feel no urge to panic as I begin to drown. I can imagine us as we used to be, swimming together, you clinging onto my back for dear life and protesting playfully for me to stop swimming so fast and I just laugh. We were just so perfect.

My lungs tighten and my body becomes like lead, and I feel weak. Spots dance before my eyes, fantastic images, and like they described in books things begin to fade to black. Isn't it nice to know you were the last thought on my mind? I could almost imagine you reaching a hand out to me to save me, as you bring me to the surface and cry as you try to revive me, and when I awake you kiss me softly and tell me you forgive me and we would be together again. Maybe, 'forever'.

But that, was just a fantasy. And as my last breath passes from my lips, I can just imagine your face smiling before mine, and whispering those words I always so wanted to hear.And I wonder, will you mutter them to me in your mourning, if you do?

In that last breath, a message carried, before my body floats lifeless through the endless blue, to maybe be lost forever.

Does my voice reach you?

**_So I'll let them go, fade into the foam  
in the morning sun  
And in cruelty, so delicately  
we'll sink and be drowned  
Now part of the sea, my weakened memories bubble on the sand  
I will break the peace, release you from me  
And withdraw my outstretched hands._**

_'I love you.'_

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Well, yeah thats it :)

I hope you liked it:D

Bye!!! xox


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